I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize