i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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