marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
