just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
