someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
