no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
