yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
