So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Two words: nipple clamps
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