My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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