Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize