no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
