I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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