It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
