Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
