so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
