3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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