it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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