Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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