Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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