Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
