Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
