PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
