Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
