Whod you bang
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
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