I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
