whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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