Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
