U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
