so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize