can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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