She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
