We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
