i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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