Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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