Kiss
Puke
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
