its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
