im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
