My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
