did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
