So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
