I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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