all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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