I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize