i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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