I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
