I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
