ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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