I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
love makes seman taste better
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
