what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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