your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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