Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
