and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
