I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
