You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize