Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
