one word: firstdatebathroomanal
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
did i just pee glitter
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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