My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
BRING THE BAGELS
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize