i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
