White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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