I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
