ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize