i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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