at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
