I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
