We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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