So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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