Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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