if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
