people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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