how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
