its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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