i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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