There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
