Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
