He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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