Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize