I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
