Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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