So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
