It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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