Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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