thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
